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The story of the 2014 Chevrolet SS: "Luxury, power, refinement, handling"

Not including the women and men who built it, the 2014 Chevrolet SS has only been seen in person by a piddling number of people - fewer humans than would fill the gymnasium at a high school volleyball game. Not including the men and women who built it, no one has driven it. Even so, it is already saddled with two controversies: the way it looks and the way it shifts.
First to that shifting. Did we love the last Americanized Holden, the awesomely sportsome Pontiac G8 GXP, and its six-speed manual? Of course. Do we wish the SS came with a six-speed manual? Of course. But we'd like a toboggan to come with a manual transmission. We'd put a manual transmission on a weasel if we could because we're just wired that way; if it moves, it should come with a stick and a clutch. Or at least the option.
Let's climb down off the ledge, though. We haven't driven the SS and we have no idea how good (or not) the automatic is. And the Hobson's Choice in transmissions when it comes to sport sedans like the BMW M5, Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG and Jaguar XFR-S and, oh yeah, cars-that-really-should-have-manuals like the Audi R8 and Nissan GT-R and Porsche 918 and every single Lamborghini and Ferrari, for instance, hasn't stopped us from enjoying what is clearly the gruesome, dual-clutched demise of Western automotive civilization. Because in spite of our ululations at the dying of the six-speed light, we understand.

Watch NASCAR racer Jeff Gordon put one over on a used car dealer... sorta

Full Disclosure: in my younger days, I loved nothing more than tormenting passengers with my behind-the-wheel hijinks. Once, after a particularly artful handbrake turn on a two-lane at around 50 miles per hour, I left one backseat occupant crying in their own lap. This isn't necessarily something to be proud of, but it gives you a glimpse into why it is that I find this ad from Pepsi so damn disappointing. The premise is beautiful. Take NASCAR legend Jeff Gordon, give him a disguise and set him loose upon some unsuspecting used car dealer. Hilarity ensues.
Except that this Pepsi Max commercial is so obviously staged, it can't help but feel like some ham-fisted marketing fail. From the strategically placed aftermarket cupholder mounted mid-dash for the hidden camera to the fact that the supposed dealer Camaro is displayed as a 2009 model (Hint: Chevrolet didn't make any), this clip is about as organic as a Twinkie. Still, we would never turn down a chance to watch Gordon thrash on a rental-spec coupe - only problem is, he probably didn't even do the driving himself. Check it out below.

GM won't sell 2014 Chevrolet SS in Canada

Allow us to be the first to extend our condolences to our friends to the north. General Motors has announced the 2014 Chevrolet SS will not be available in Canada. The Globe and Mail reports the automaker has confirmed the high-performance sedan won't hit Canadian dealers, though GM hasn't offered up any reasoning as to why that is.
Buyers here in the US of A, meanwhile, can look forward to getting their hands on the 415-horspower, rear-wheel drive SS by late summer. Something tells us it won't be long after that before Canadian officials start seeing individually imported 6.2-liter V8 four-doors in their neighborhoods. Fortunately, Canadian buyers will still be able to take home the 2014 Chevrolet Corvette. The C7 bowed at the Canadian International Auto Show last week, reportedly drawing sizable crowds and interest.