Oh My God. Oh. My. God. on 2040-cars
Seattle, Washington, United States
Body Type:Pickup Truck
Vehicle Title:Clear
Engine:2,302 cc 2.3 liters in-line 4 front longitudinal
Fuel Type:Gasoline
For Sale By:Private Seller
Year: 1996
Make: Mazda
Model: B-Series Pickups
Cab Type (For Trucks Only): Regular Cab
Trim: Base
Options: CD Player
Drive Type: Rear-wheel
Safety Features: Anti-Lock Brakes, Driver Airbag
Mileage: 130,504
Power Options: Air Conditioning
Exterior Color: Red
Interior Color: Gray
Number of Cylinders: 4
|
Attention Scallywags: Do not apply.
Have you ever asked yourself, "how can I be more badass with women?" If so, read the heck on! Behold the *magic* that is this manly piece of badass, Mazda B2300, pure balls-to-the-wall, instant "manly factor" multiplier. This screams "I'm a man's man!" + a billion. This is only for real men looking to add a little bit of edge to their life -- looking to score hot dates with supermodel chicks who are supermodels. From Europe. And Brazil. And Texas. Because when you roll up in this grizzly, people will automatically l^O^Ok at you, and know that you don't give a flying rat's "F" about anything in life....especially not superficial things like a fancy-ass Mercedes Royce or having the newest designer pet chihuahua. Go sip on your latte, and get outta' my face! This rough and tumble machine doesn't care about your $1,500 terry cloth robe, or your pedicures. He doesn't play by the rules! Why? Because he's a true badass, and a true badass starts at the ground up with a solid chassis built from pure bull testosterone, ice cold domestic beer, a little bit of steel, and a dash of Chuck Norris. Suck on that! Well guess what, @$$hole. It only gets better from here.... Next, Mazda's engineers who have all won Nobel Prizes in badassery, sorcery, and scoring with chicks, strapped a gutsy power plant to the frame that wasn't built for the faint of heart. They started big at 70 horsepower. But they didn't stop there. After simultaneously shotgunning 4 beers, and smashing the cans on their forehead like any true badass would do, they ingeniously devised a way to crank up the horsepowerage to a breathtaking, 112 sweaty horseballs, power. That's right. Let's see if you can tame all 112 of these monsters. $5 and a case of Pabst says you can't! But I welcome your challenge. It'll be a real test of your manhood. If you push this beast hard enough, you can almost chirp the wheels in first beer...I mean, gear. B-I-T-C-H-I-N'!!! To take it a step further, they custom fitted this monster beast with a plush (but not too plush, because too plush would be for sissies, and this pig ain't for no sissy, girly, boy) nylon covered bench seat. It's perfect for having your supermodel chick girlfriends slide on over closer to you, so you can throw your dude arm across her silky, smooth, shoulder blade skin that smells like cocoa butter and sexy, in a real Rico Suave-esque manner. For added effect, and just to show its durability, I ripped a seam on the driver's side, just to show that it won't get its feelings hurt. Because he ain't no sissy! It's a badge of honor that this hoss proudly wears. DEAL WITH IT, BIOTCHES! And tell your girlfriend to respect the rules of this piece. You shut your mouth when you're talking in my truck! But hold on to your mantitties, because we're not done yet! Real men don't believe in power anything, unless it's power tools, power cleans, the power of Jesus, and powerball. Therefore, this tiger comes equipped with "crank-it-your-own-d a m n-self" windows. They work, because they're mechanical. And that's all I'll say about that! If you want a pansy, tutti-fruitti, power windows, cushy girl car, go get your boring ass in a stupid Japanese-built wussy Toyota Camry, and be a lifelong loser, because this ain't for you. Because you're a man of iron, black coffee, and grit, you only rock out to the most badass, fist-pumping, knockout, bare knuckles boxing, alligator wrasslin' anthem that clearly defines your amazing existence as a man. In order to jam out every day of your life, Mazda helps you in that department too, by cramming in a heart stoppin', pumpin', thumpin', bassin' factory installed sound system. But they didn't get too carried away. Because this ain't no low-rider, L.A. car show contestant trying to show off his $80,000 Pioneer sound system. That's WEAK SAUCE!!! Nope. This rugged hog is a major contestant in "Being A Wicked Extreme Badass!" So shut your pie hole, and pump up your MANthem! Let the city b i t c h e s hear it! I don't care much for bright colors myself. But I also have a reputation to keep. Choosing an exterior color can make or break you. Because you're a man that doesn't give a crap about that stuff, and nothing gets to you, you know deep in your man soul, that you can't be broken. You sip Jameson whiskey straight from the bottle, dump that $hit in your coffee, and brush your teeth with it. For this badass-ness, only one color can accurately describe your life. Cherry-freakin'-red. Buckle in, asshole. This manmobile shouts to mother earth that you are secure in your manhood. So grab your crotch, and be proud you have a big, swingin' dick, and push the pedal to the floor, racking up poor gas mileage along the way. Actually, not really. Even though you might be fooled by it's brawny exterior, he can be a gentle soul too, averaging in neighborhood of 20-25 miles per gallon. But let's not get too over-the-top, here. He has a manly reputation to preserve. This husky scamp has a history of kicking ass and taking names. It's been trekked everywhere from the dusty, stinky petroleum $hit fields of Lubbock, Texas, to the border-crossing streets of San Diego; from the steep ice and snow covered mountain drives of Northern California, to the hippie, potsmokin' backroads of Seattle and Portland. Here, he quietly rests, waiting for the next proud owner to unhinge its raw, burly, hauling power. Finally, it's understood and implied that this may be more than you can handle. So to tone down its scarred, beefy body, and to give the impression that despite its mighty Herculean persona of blood, guts, booze, and unfiltered cigarettes, it received a Jesus tattoo many moons ago. It's a tattoo that shows it cares about other important things in life, like raising a good family, medium-rare cow beef steaks, Lava hand soap, Saturday nights with the guys, Dallas Cowboys football, automatic rifles, American flags, and The God blessed, fire-breathing, Constitution of the United States of George Bush's America. Amen! This hard-bodied stud likes the cold, hard, Benjamins or cashier's cheques. I even spelled it fancy-like to show that I'm no fool when it comes to economic matters. I might even be willing to part with this brute savage for a check. But if it bounces, I'll punch you in chest plate, and move on to somebody more financially adept. It's almost too good to be true. So good, that I'm actually thinking about just keeping it......But no. I made a commitment, and I need to see it through. I must be strong. Must. Be. Strong. So hurry up and get your meathooks on it soon, before some other carpetbaggin', hellion monkey drives off into the brisk morning air with him. Q and A: -Wes, do you deliver to my location?: Yes. And you've just learned something else about me. That's right, my name is Wes. And your name is "lucky sonofagun" if you make the best choice of your life and pay me cold, hard cash for this ridiculous ride. -What about safety features, Wes?: Yeah, what about 'em? Look, the government governs the way you can unleash this mule on public roads, it also deems that certain safety features come standard, and that you are to use them accordingly. Fine. Whatever. So you tell yourself, "I'm a badass no matter what, but I'll keep myself from getting locked up at county with a guy named Tiny, another named Jingles, and a third guy named Tom. So I'll wear this safety harness across my rock-hard body, and flip on the headlights during the evening hours of dark. But I won't be happy about it, and I'll roll down my window and yell obscenities at old ladies, because I can! Bite me, government rules." The point is, all that crap works. And it works well. Would you expect anything less though? I mean, really?! Just look at it. -The paint's a little dinged up: Yeah, well, that's called real life. It comes at you fast, bro. Besides, you really want this glimmering, shimmering sex machine catching the eye of some small time thief? You really don't want to be living your own version of Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Consider the lived-in feel a natural crime deterrent. If this truck were denim jeans, it'd be called "de-stressed" and you'd be paying extra for the privilege. I'm not gonna charge you extra for it, though, because I'm not trying to take advantage of you. But you should take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. -But, aren't you sad about selling the greatest truck on earth?: No. When you drive this strapping ogre once it permanently eliminates your ability to feel sad about anything ever again. Even for little puppies who are afraid to walk down the stairs, because the stairs...they're so big, and they're so little. Puppies who are young, but have already discovered the world to be a cold, unforgiving place. But you won't give a $hit about it because you'll be in your awesome new truck living the dream. |
Mazda B-Series Pickups for Sale
1995 mazda b4000 se extended cab pickup 2-door 4.0l(US $1,450.00)
1993 mazda b2600 le-5 extended cab pickup 2-door 2.6l 4x4 awd 1 owner only 107k!
Be a supreme badass who is amazing with women!!!! - 1996 mazda b2300 - $2400(US $2,400.00)
Ds manual 3.0l cd rear wheel drive tires - front all-terrain aluminum wheels abs
1994 mazda pickup truck b4000 extended cab(US $1,500.00)
2002 mazda b-series 2wd truck cab plus 125" wb 3.0l auto ds
Auto Services in Washington
Yire Automotive Care ★★★★★
Woodland Auto Body ★★★★★
University Place Tire & Auto ★★★★★
Town Chrysler Dodge ★★★★★
Superior Auto ★★★★★
Sparky`s Towing & Auto Sales ★★★★★
Auto blog
Car and Driver lists 10Best for 2013, same as it ever was
Wed, 05 Dec 2012Forgive us for having the distinct feeling of déjà vu, but it certainly feels like we've been here before. By that we are referring Car and Driver and the announcement of its annual 10Best vehicles for 2013. To be sure, it's an impressive selection of cars that combine heart-pounding performance and frugal sensibilities, but it also represents something of a broken record on the part of C/D. We're not so sure that's a flaw, though, as the resulting list is tough to argue with.
Vehicles like the Ford Mustang, Porsche Boxster, and BMW 3 Series have maintained their high-horsepower spots on this list for several years now. Even on the more practical and nimble end, the Honda Accord, Honda Fit and Mazda Miata have not budged. These continued spots are even in light of redesigns for some vehicles such as the Accord, Boxster and 3 Series.
In fact, the only newcomer to the 10Best list this year are the Scion FR-S/Subaru BRZ twins, which knocked out the Cadillac CTS-V. We think it would have been a huge misstep to have excluded the FR-S/BRZ, even in light of the supercharged Caddy's lamentable departure from 10Best.
Will the new Mazda Miata be available with multiple engines?
Mon, 01 Sep 2014At this point, the countdown until the launch of the all-new, fourth-generation 2016 Mazda MX-5 Miata can be measured in hours until its September 3 unveiling as easily as it can in days. With the debut of such a highly anticipated model so close, the rumors about the new sports car are starting to boil over.
We recently heard that the new Miata would likely get a 2.0-liter Skyactiv four-cylinder with a six-speed manual, plus a decent drop in weight compared to the current gen. There's even the rumored possibility of a fastback coupe version sometime in the future.
Now, Australia's GoAuto is adding another dollop of speculation into the mix with the claim that there could be "potentially more engine options," according to Mazda Australia managing director Martin Benders to the website. The more potent option would still be the 2.0-liter Skyactiv with a power bump from its current 167 hp to closer to 200 ponies. The other possible powerplant option would be a 1.5-liter, naturally aspirated four-cylinder taken from the upcoming Mazda2 replacement. This version would also ditch some of the MX-5's more premium features to cut the weight and the price slightly.
Mazda3 officially unveiled
Wed, 26 Jun 2013Mazda has officially pulled the sheets off of its 2014 Mazda3. The all-new compact boasts a wheelbase that's a full 2.4 inches longer than the outgoing model, yet the hatchback is a nearly two inches shorter from stem to stern. The machine is also lower and wider than before, which should give occupants plenty of space indoors. The driver gets treated to a new human-machine interface that features a new Active Driving Display for information like vehicle speed and navigation instructions conveniently in the line of sight. Likewise, the vehicle's infotainment system has received a complete rebuild.
Outside, the new Mazda3 makes full use of the company's KODO design language, and to our eyes, the result is one of the most attractive entries in the segment. Jump under the hood, and buyers can expect to find a Skyactiv-G 2.0-liter gasoline engine with 155 horsepower and 150 pound-feet of torque, though no fuel economy estimates are available. For those looking for a bit more thrust, Mazda also offers a 2.5-liter Skyactiv-G gasoline mill with 184 hp and 185 lb-ft of torque. So far there's no word on the diesel engine available to our friends in Europe.
Both engines can be mated to either a six-speed manual or a six-speed automatic and feature the automaker's i-ELOOP brake energy regeneration systems. The recaptured energy is stored in a capacitor and used to power the vehicle's various electrical systems.
2040Cars.com © 2012-2024. All Rights Reserved.
Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners.
Use of this Web site constitutes acceptance of the 2040Cars User Agreement and Privacy Policy.
0.018 s, 7248 u