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Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

Porsche becomes first company to rent out Vatican's Sistine Chapel

We wouldn't go so far as to say God is a Porsche fan, but those in charge of one of the holiest Christian spots on our little blue marble are welcoming the German automaker into one of the religion's most revered and beautiful settings - the Sistine Chapel in Vatican City. In so doing, Porsche will reportedly become the first company to rent out the holy hall for a corporate function.
Now, it's not like Pope Francis has signed off on Porsche doing do donuts in a 911 underneath Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. Instead, the Vatican has rented out the home of the Papal Conclave to the Porsche Travel Club, which will host a classical music concert. The Travel Club organizes events and tours across Europe for Porsche enthusiasts, with the Vatican concert just one part of a tour of Rome.
According to Automotive News Europe, Porsche will sell 40 tickets - at 5,000 euros each ($6,379) - to the event, while the Vatican has confirmed that the Pope will not be in attendance.

Porsche Panamera gets new diesel in time for Frankfurt

Diesel may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Porsche, but in the European market - that vital one which Porsche calls home - diesels are indispensable. Particularly when you're trying to extend beyond niche sports cars and into the mainstream luxury sedan market as Zuffenhausen has with the Panamera. In fact, diesels account for 15 percent of Panamera sales worldwide (even though they're not offered Stateside), so to keep oil-burning customers happy, Porsche has announced a series of upgrades.
Set to be unveiled in the flesh at the fast-approaching Frankfurt Motor Show, the new Panamera Diesel packs 300 horsepower. That's 50 hp (or 20 percent) more than the model it replaces, significantly dropping the 0-62 sprint from 6.8 seconds to 6 flat, and raising top speed from 152 miles per Autobahn-crunching hour to 161. While they were at it, Porsche's engineers also fitted the rear differential with torque vectoring (previously reserved for gasoline-burning models) and retuned the transmission and suspension.
You can delve into the press release below for all the details - including the new model's improved towing capacity! - but the reality, for better or worse, is that the Panamera Diesel isn't offered here. So if you've been celebrating Labor Day (or even Labour Day, for our friends to the north) like we have, don't go looking for it at your local dealer, who will have only a Cayenne Diesel to show you instead.