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Meet the Most Elegant Automobile, and it's for sale

Alright, so maybe "most elegant" is a bit of a stretch, but we feel safe in calling the 1992 Toyota Paseo in the video below an "automobile." High praise, we know. Still, it's clear someone loves the awkward little coupe enough to produce a hilarious video to sell the thing. Henry Floyd worked up a quick parody of the over-the-top luxury car ads we all know and loathe, and while the finished product is a little skimpy on details like price or location, it certainly doesn't hold back on the exposition.
Hell, if we didn't already have a parade of horrible ideas floating around our collective driveways, we might even be convinced to give this little heap a new home. You can check out the ad for yourself below, just don't be surprised if you find yourself with a burning desire to own a Paseo.

Toyota reports huge quarterly profit increase, raises forecast for the year

Toyota isn't just the world's largest automaker - so far its the biggest winner for quarterly profits. With an enormous $5.5 billion take during Q2, Toyota took advantage of the weak Japanese yen and strong US demand to record a 94-percent improvement in profit over the same period from last year. So far, Toyota brought in larger profits than Ford and General Motors combined.
Toyota is showing no signs of slowing down either, as it has bumped up its forecast for full-year global production, going from 9.94 million to 10.12 million vehicles, on the back of a 13-percent drop in the buying power of the Japanese yen versus the US dollar. That strong exchange rate is largely responsible for Toyota's big jump in profits, although it also managed to shift 1.3 million vehicles in the US market this year. Strong Camry sales have also helped. But while Toyota is raking in the cash, it actually saw a small drop in market share, down 0.1 percent to 14.3 percent of the US market.
As is the case with most automakers, Toyota seems flummoxed by Europe, where it recorded less than one percent of its revenue. Still, as Automotive News points out, Toyota only maintains a 4.5-percent market share in Europe and is far less dependent on the continent than other manufacturers. Toyota also struggled at home, much like Honda. With 525,777 units sold, JDM sales were down almost 51,000 units, although Toyota still saw its operating profit jump from $3.5 billion to $4.6 billion.

Toyota plans biggest stock buyback in over a decade

At the end of December, 2013 Toyota had a cash stockpile of 1.8 trillion yen ($17.5B US). As of March 31, at the end of its current financial year, company coffers are expected to swallow another 1.9 trillion yen ($18.4B US) in net profit - said to be a record sum for the Japanese automaker. In a gesture signaling a turnaround from the horrors of the global recession, Bloomberg reports that Toyota will buy back 60 million shares of its stock, as much as 1.89 percent of the company, for something like 360 billion yen ($3.5B US). It's the first buyback since 2009 and the largest buyback since 2003, when it spent roughly 390 billion yen ($3.8B US) repurchasing shares.
Company president Akio Toyoda founded the Toyota Mobility Foundation (TMF), a non-profit that will support international groups working on transportation issues in emerging markets. Half of the stock that Toyota buys, 30 million shares, will be sold to the foundation via the Japanese Trustee Services Bank for one yen per share, the dividend providing the foundation's initial funding. The other 30 million shares will be canceled, a company spokesman telling Reuters that the company wants to reward shareholders.
Industry analysts have been asking Toyota to either return money to shareholders or invest in new factories, but Toyota has ruled out the latter. After getting burned with excess capacity when the financial crisis came, the company is focused on extracting efficiencies from the plants it already has. Toyota has said it plans to complete the buyback by June of this year.